26 May 09

I have been thinking about the months of struggling in the business of being a photographer, teacher and artist. And I have come to realize and know who the real supporters are, although we may not have been in contact for quite some time. The people that truly have a passion for the arts remain as so, unswerving by their position in that art shall survive, and it will continue to flourish, no matter how hard or difficult it may be. My friends attest to that. In the back of my mind, I feel that I have been a bit of a cop out, that I have devalued my position as an artist, and have shifted to a more commercial realm by opening up a studio, where I shoot commercial jobs (ie: family portraits, fashion, etc.) and also teach. I am interested in publishing, and that seems like a commercial enterprise that I shouldn't be even touching, but then, I have and will be doing in the next little while. I ebb in and out of the waters from one thing to the next, with no real focus. Why can't I settle my mind? What has 2009 done to me and everyone else? Nevertheless, this year of making new and renewing old acquaintances is paramount. In this time of economic blues, I'm discovering new energies and ideas with people around me. I'm eager and excited, but nervous about what all this holds. I've been taken for a ride before and I don't recommend it. To anyone.

20 May 09

I don't know when was the last time I wrote in this blog, but I thought I would start to reinstate some thoughts in my mind, given the past tumultuous 8 months of havoc in the startup of my new studio in Hong Kong. It seemed not that long ago that I had just moved into Sheung Wan, and right during a time when the world was in strife over the September, 9-11 incident in New York. Times were really rough, and I had just moved into the flat. Now, the same thing has arisen here the move this time to Chai Wan, from West end to now East end. What a horrific time it has been in dealing with the university that I have been teaching at. I'm going to be brutally honest, and not because of the university itself, but the people that I have had to work and cooperate with, namely, a certain middle management personnel has taken me and my business partner for a ride, a ride that cost myself frustration, aggravation, financial strife (right during a time when the economy is in a downturn), and headache. Picking up the pieces has been an ordeal. Unpaid invoices dating back to 2006 and unresolved contracts for models and such, it is a fiasco. Regaining ground was all a bit too late, but it's better than never.

The 9 of Swords and The Devil in a dance...

About two months ago, I took out a Tarot deck, the Thoth deck, one that I didn't use that often, to try to delve into the future of my life/existence. I used a new spread that I was unfamiliar with, that was on the pages of a book that accompanied the deck. The layout itself was fascinating to unfold, as much as the cards were. The Thoth deck is drawn in a very rich way, with complex colors, symbols, and imagery that are right for the more involved reading and interpretation. A few days ago, I decided to pull out that deck, after a night of feeling lost and of not knowing what lies ahead of myself, and decided to use a common spread called the Celtic Cross. What surprised me (which should not be a surprise really), was that the cards that I pulled out were nearly identical to the ones I had drawn a few months ago. I remember them, as I was reading the same information over again. It was as if a clear message or indication was being sent to me.

The Tarot is a mystical thing, allowing me and anyone else that cares to listen, to explore the situations and influences affecting the human psyche. What it revealed to me was something I had already known: that it was time for me to stop being so critical of my work, and to just do it. The few cards that surfaced both times were plenty, but the ones that were the crux of my situation was the 9 of Swords, which usually points to cruelty to oneself. All artists do it. I admit to it. The other dark card was The Devil card. And if my memory serves correct, it was the outcome card both times. In the Rider Waite deck, it is a very intense and not a good card to have, but in the Thoth deck, it is rather is different. It is actually quite beautiful, with a lot of sexual energy and release. A smiling goat is centered in the card with a phallic symbol (in the form of energy rising from the ground to the heavens) is behind him. The goat is Pan, devoid of desire (a form of imprisonment) and as such, is content and happy. I have been desiring many thing of late, thereby creating my own unhappiness when I do not 'have' it. It's something I have to deal with. How the 9 of Swords and The Devil Card cross each is fascinating, as the first card reveals how I am now, and The Devil card is what I want to move towards, if I was to change my way of thinking. The interpretation can be quite varied, but it seems clear that my situation is that I am the only person that can pull myself out....

The lost meaning of blogs and the lost meaning of art

It has been a number of months since I last posted here. The reasons are varied, mostly due to the fact that my mind has been battling the realms of commercialism, of blogging, of marketing of my artwork, creation of the artwork and of sales, so it's a mish-mash of different thoughts and directions.

In an blog I submitted to my alivenotdead.com profile, I said that blogging was becoming a form of self-marketing, self-promoting vehicle to toot one's own horn, and the that original 'journal' or diary was getting lost. I felt that there was no where for me to pour my guts and my Soul to. I remember the days when I would be at home with my pen and book writing out things that only I would read and later recall. I then later started to write these thoughts into a personal journal. Back then, it was my geocities homepage that I created. It felt 'right'. My boring outpourings of grief and loneliness felt private and I still have those pages saved in my original html. Then, this thing called blogs came into the picture. Personally, I am not sure if it's really such a good thing, because now people can respond to them. But in a sense, I am not sure of the reason why. I just want to record my thoughts throughout the day. Good and bad. What I notice about the alivenotdead blog, is that it is for artist promotion, so I feel I have to write things in it that promote my work, my art, my aspirations. But do people want to hear about my sorrows and griefs as a human person. My gripes on the art industry? I think not. So here I am back on my personal blog, to an audience of a lesser number, moreso: me.

Independent artists are popping up everywhere on the map, especially here in Hong Kong. I remember when I first started up Meli-Melo Artist Alliance back in 1999 that we were one of the first groups to create a grassroots artist community wanting to do something creative in super stressful Hong Kong. And now we have an enormous number of young individuals both here and in Asia making it's wave. There is this bandwagon feeling about the art and about the production thereof. So I began thinking that maybe I'm just one of them? With nothing that particularly interesting to offer. What will make my work relevant or meaningful. I did some rather perculiar drawings made from pencil and a scanner, and photo manipulation. It was almost 'meaningless' to me, although intriguing and colourful to the eye. I also created some drawings made from scans of high fashion jewelry in a Christie's catalog. I call it appropriation and manipulation. It's kitchy art. I hate it in a way, because it feels so UN-meaningful. What is going on with me? Remember DADA art? Well, my name of the artwork is KIKU.

No ordinary city for no ordinary people...

I have been trying to think about what it is about Hong Kong that I like so much. The heat and humidity is nearly unbearable, the streets have cockroaches, the people generally rude, fake and obnoxious, people butt ahead in cues, and the mentality of most are oriented to money, self-gain and image. People judge you on your looks and what you wear, where you live and if you're sporting the latest technotronic gadget. To survive here is probably one of the hardest and toughest of cities in the world. It is not forgiving. My cousin had a secret bet that when I moved here from Canada, that I wouldn't make it past one year. As of this year, I have been in Hong Kong for 13 years. I still find this city one of the most energetic and exciting places to live and work as an artist. No, I don't have a harbour view out of my flat and I don't earn the big bucks (that I'd like). I took a major drop in revenue after making the shift from architect to artist-photographer. What's more, I started working as a bar-tender and did Tarot readings on the side-line. Do I have any regrets? and did Hong Kong let me down? The answer of course is no. Hong Kong in fact gave the opportunity to do things I never would have done if I were in any city. So long as you're willing to give it a shot? and do your best, people will give you chance at nearly anything. I tell this to anyone I meet now that has a passion for something. But here is the underlying problem with many people I meet: they don't have a clue as to what they are passionate about. They ponder the street and wonder why they can't find a job. I don't know if it's because of lack of ambition, or no need for money. But it is true, I know some people who do not have any need for money because their taken care for. Perhaps that is the clincher. For me, and here I digress a bit. One of the primary reasons I create what I create and photograph what I do is because I see the VALUE of what I'm doing not just from a creative point of view, but also from a financial point of view. I see my work as also a dollar sign. Without the drive to see it's inherent returns, I don't think I would be doing it. I'd be pursuing other avenues to create things for money. The main difference in what I create however, is that I find personal reward from the creation of the photograph, drawing or painting. And in addition, I fine personal satisfaction when I see that someone who has purchased my work, happiness and elation. I recall my first sale of a graphite drawing when a man came up to me and asked for permission to have my drawing. It was the most strange request. I said, do you mean, buy it? He nodded. It was no ordinary purchase, from no ordinary man, and no ordinary drawing. The drawing was entitled ONE, and remains the most pivotal piece of artwork to date. It was pure unequivocal Spirit. So where, where does this creative energy surface from? True, it does come from within, in my mind, my Spirit, my energy, but it also derives its energy from the surroundings, from the people, from the mountains and waters that flow in the Fragrant Harbour, from Hong Kong. The energy is not quiet, and it demands release and attention. The city can vivify or it can suck it from you, leaving you dry and vacuous.

The Asian Male 2.AM Video...

In case anyone cares to see, this is my attempt at making a video using my imac. I used images from my book to create the video. Here it is: http://www.normyip.com/2AM/2AM%20slideshow-web2.mov

I don't think I'm a mastermind at this, but just something to play with...

hong kong police and the angry brothers...

Most of the time, I find myself meeting very optimistic people in Hong Kong, whether they be locals or foreigners. But today, I bumped into a couple of guys, brothers actually, near my Sheung Wan pad when I went out for some food. We decided to have dinner together and headed to the nearest food market nearby. What puzzled and annoyed me was the dinner conversation. The two of them were complaining about the legal system and about how the police harass everyone, and without right/due cause. Frankly, this was my 4th or 5th time seeing the one brother, and eac time, he was in trouble with the law/police. And it appeared that he was not at fault for anything, but that he contagonized the police. He simple loved to argue against authority. Loud and obnoxioius, the guy was phased by how I was being accepting of the fact that the police could request my ID and question me on my whereabouts. Personally, yes, I have been stopped by the police here on a number of occasions. I admit to being rather perturbed by the entire process and feeling like a criminal when being interrogated on the streets. But I just answer and they let me go. Harmless. But for these two guys at the dinner table, they just went on and on about what is fair and unfair. I give it to them for being so 'just' in their thinking, but it dawned on me that these guys are really just loud and obnoxious individuals that need to listen to themselves talk. Bad energy in a major way. I said to one of them, that it would be better to leave it be, and to move onto doing something constructive and creative, than to harp on something that was rather insignificant. At least in Hong Kong, the streets are safer than most other cities, just because of the police enforcement. I'm not saying they are perfect either, but they do pretty good for a city of 6-7million inhabitants.

Pre-screening of 'Sketches of Frank Gehry' by Sidney Pollack

Today I had the pleasure and privilege of seeing the new Sidney Pollack documentary on Frank Gehry. Done in a very raw hand held-style whereby Sidney Pollack himself became part and parcel of the footage, this films reveals much about the inner working and inspirations of an architect whose architectural buildings have all but won him International acclaim. Through straightforward questions, Frank answers back. No high brow intellectual jargon that architects are all to eager to impress. Pollack films Frank creating and designing using simple tools: paper and sissors and human miniatures to give the buildings a sense of scale. To the architect in me (I have an architecture degree from the University of Toronto), I relate completely to what he doing. No doubt the public might gasp at how primitive it appears. Having met Frank at a lecture when I just finished my studies in Toronto, I felt he was just an okay architect at the time. But as the years passed, I began to see his work taking on a greater and even more experimental side. I began to see his art and creativity blossom. This documentary is somewhat timely for me, as it reveals to me that artists have to take risks, but only for what is his own set of limitations and moral belief. I believe that Frank is truly genius. His pencil sketches are videotaped up close. I mean, really close to the point we can see the graphite texture etched into the paper. Sidney realizes and understands that these are his first tools to realizing a concept. The energy contained in them are priceless, as they directly come from Gehry's creative mind. This documentary may not dazzle the ordinary layman, but to anyone that has visited the Bilbao Museum in Spain, you will find this a fascinating account of a brilliant and master creator.